


Count the Waves

by GhostRule23



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: A bit of Pearlmethyst later on in the fic, F/F, Happy Ending, lapidot - Freeform, mermaid au, warning: swears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-02 12:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8668198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostRule23/pseuds/GhostRule23
Summary: Lapis was just a hot mermaid who needed to actually do something productive once and a while. Peridot was just a pirate with an uncanny ability to piss off anyone that worked with her. Surprisingly, they make a great team. Mermaid AUWarning: so gay you can see the rainbows





	1. Lapis Meets a Gay Pirate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Treker402's Mermaid AU on tumblr. I only stole one scene I swear--  
> Please check out their art on Tumblr, they have a ton more aus and all of them are absolutely amazing

It is said that if you kiss a mermaid on rocks positioned directly adjacent to the setting sun, you will gain eternal happiness. Some said they gained riches they could hardly fathom, others that they had extreme luck for the rest of their lives. Thousands of men would sail the fair ocean for years - decades, even - just to find a fair water maiden. If they found a Maiden as such was up for debate, but all that came back alive from their voyages claimed they had succeeded.

Lapis couldn't understand the idiotic mindset of man. Did they seriously think kissing a semi-fish, semi-woman sea-creature was going to change their lives forever? It made her want to send colossal waves straight onto man's stupid little islands and destroy the entire population. However, she didn't feel like doing it. For being the fairest and most feared mermaid in all the western sea, she was incredibly lazy.

The mermaid was currently splayed out in the underwater cave she called home, tail dipped into the water and torso draped along the cavern floor. _Air feels weird_ , Lapis thought to herself. It was kind of nice, though; comforting even. The gravity wrapped around her torso like the seaweed blanket she had owned as a child.

The only way to describe Lapis' appearance was blue. She had short, ruffled blue hair, blue skin and scales, even a few blue stripes along her face that lit up different shades of blue (depending on her mood). Her eyes were a dashing cerulean, and even the webs between her fingers and fins on her back and arms were a transparent blue. She was a peculiar girl; the blue gene in mermaids was supposed to be rare. Some entire genetic lines had never had any trace of blue in them, and here Lapis was, literally the entire color spectrum of blue mashed into one mermaid.

Lapis sighed and flicked a nearby pebble, watching with half-lidded eyes as it bounced across the cave floor. A _ta-tap_ resonated with each of the stone's bounces.

"Ah, wonder if it's almost time to hunt..." she muttered in Piscisian, her native language. Lapis felt a prick of dread at even the thought of moving, but she needed to eat, whether she liked it or not. Lapis took in a deep breath, storing as much air as she could in her lungs, and dove into the water. She lazily navigated her way through the labyrinth of tunnels, and in less than three minutes made her way to the open ocean.

She did a little twirl in the water to shake herself awake a bit, watching a few little bubbles danced around her and toward the light. Lapis swam along her usual route; to the left of the green rock, above the rusting anchor, past the abandoned cities that had been submerged in water. She looked up from the watery abyss, squinting as she searched for an indicator of what time it was. Unable to see any light reflection this deep underwater, she stopped midway into her journey and started swimming closer to the surface- not to it, per say, but close enough to see the colors of the sky. Well, that's what her plan had been, but she couldn't ignore the scream of pain that pierced through the waves. She stopped dead; it was coming from the surface. Was a fellow mermaid trapped by humans? What had happened? Why would someone scream that loud; they must be in serious danger. Without a second thought, she thrust upward toward the surface, taking only a few seconds to hit air. She twirled around, looking for a turtle to be trapped in a net, or a mermaid to be fighting off a big brute of a man with all the force she could muster. However, to Lapis’ shock, she saw a large ship boarded with…ugh, pirates.

"PERIDOT!!!! We didn't bring you on S.S Jade just for you to be a freeloader!!" A voice boomed, and the sound of wood being snapped hit Lapis' ears with a force stronger than sound should be physically able to travel. Lapis' rational mind told her to get the fuck out of there, she could get killed, captured, or worse! Instead, Lapis let curiosity get the best of her; she just needed to know what was going on. Lapis dashed over to a convenient cluster of rocks, hiding behind them, and peeked through a gap in attempt to see what was going on. The first thing she noticed was the back of a scrawny pirate. His blonde hair seemed to completely disregard gravity as it flew in every which direction, and on top of that mess was a pair of leather goggles. A strap wrapped around his green jacket and a brown belt held up his green pants and boots. Lapis strained her ears and tried to listen in on the conversation.

"I-I'm sorry sir, I won't slack off again," the lad pleaded, but the big brute of a captain wouldn't take that for an answer.

"That's what you said the last three times!! I guess there was a reason you were transferred off Captain Jasper's ship, besides the obvious one," he bellowed. The captain stomped his foot and the sound of wood splintering and cracking hit Lapis' ears once more. The poor lad winced, and Lapis felt almost bad for him. Almost.

"I-I'll change, I promise! I'll--"

"No more excuses! Get off this boat!!" He screamed, and Lapis could almost feel the terror emanating from the sailor.

"Sir, we're in the middle of the ocean! I'd die out there," the human tried to ration, panic edging his voice. "W-what about my family!? Us Pavlovs are rich! They could sue you for killing me!! Plus, I'm the only tech expert! If the steering wheel fails in the middle of a storm?!" The captain grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him a perfect 180 in seconds-- so fast Lapis couldn't react fast enough to move; her eyes locked with the sailor's. The shocked green eyes and reddening punch-mark on his face (probably from the captain) were the only things she could fully absorb before she ducked below the water. Her heart was racing; did he see her? She hoped not, because how screwed she was if he did! She was about to panic and swim home before she heard a splash echo through the waves. She turned around and saw the frantic green sailor sinking faster than a human should sink, trying to push his way to the surface but only being dragged down. He opened his mouth to scream, and all the oxygen fled from his mouth in large clusters of bubbles.

Lapis didn't know why she thought the way she did in that second. She would look back on that exact moment for years, wondering just what had compelled her to act in such an uncharacteristic way. Why would she care about a stupid sailor; didn't she want all men dead? The pirate’s eyelids slowly closed as the last of his air fell out his mouth, and Lapis didn't even notice she was swimming toward him. She grabbed his arms and pulled him with a frantic force up toward the surface, desperately trying to get him to air. She was up in seconds, not even the blinding light of the setting sun stopping her from getting the boy to the rock cluster. She pushed him up so he was fully on the formation and then quickly jumped on directly next to the dying human.

After a few attempts at hitting the water out of him, she watched as he jolted back to life. He kicked and flailed, coughing up all the water that had filled his lungs. He gasped for air and sat up abruptly, wide eyed like he had seen death itself; which could have been true based on how much water he spat up. Lapis watched with curiosity as he continued to hack up more of the salty liquid.

"Ack!! What the-- what happened...?" The sailor squinted through teary eyes to meet Lapis' curious gaze. Lapis cleared her throat.

"Hi," she said in English, silently thanking her father for forcing her to the language classes back when she was a child. "I just saved your life." The sailor stared at her like she had three heads. She noticed the blush creeping up on his cheeks as and she couldn't suppress an aggravated frown. "What, are you just going to stare at a mermaid and not address her? Very very rude. I hate humans by the way, so just because I saved your life does not mean--" Then she realized where they were. On the rocks. The setting sun behind them. Adjacent to them. Lapis knew exactly what that meant, and apparently, the pirate did too.

The kiss had been expected, but the electricity that came with it caught her completely by surprise. She had been kissed by a few mermen before; all losers, stupid clumsy airheads who didn't know the difference between kissing and eating. This, however, was entirely different. His lips locked with hers like two puzzle pieces that fit, and there was a... a spark. It sent shivers down Lapis' spine and gave her a feeling she couldn't quite explain. It was over as soon as it had started, and Lapis felt a hot blush creeping up her cheeks as she stared at him. While she had at least stayed semi-composed, the human was a complete blubbering mess.

"I-I-I'm so sorry! I, um, I heard the legends, and-" Lapis touched her lips, confused. Something was different about this human, but she couldn't quite place it. She eyed the pirate up and down, trying to see anything that could have electrocuted her while she was being kissed. She noticed how the sailor's hair still tried to fight gravity even while wet, its ends sticking up as best they could with the water weighing them down. His goggles had fallen off his head when he was tossed against the rocks, and his chest heaved with an effort to get more oxygen into his chest. His chest...

"Wait...something is different," Lapis thought aloud, reaching over and grabbing at his jacket.

"H-Hey, what're you doing!?" The sailor panicked, but Lapis didn't think twice about ripping the jacket open for her to see. She stared at 'his' chest for a solid few seconds before absorbing it all.

".......you are a woman?" Lapis couldn't suppress the shock that was oh so plainly written on her face, and 'he' huffed in annoyance. Lapis could hardly believe her eyes; she had been kissed by a - okay, admittedly hot - pirate woman!? "We have the same thing, do we not-" She reached out and attempted to grab one in her hand, but the sailor girl recoiled and smacked her hand away.

"Don't touch it!!" Lapis couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction.

"I can do whatever I want, I just saved your life," she smirked, and the other girl scowled.

"Why didn't you just let me drown? Honestly, I thought you mermaids were asses who don't care about pirates," she said, her green eyes reflecting a little bit of genuine curiosity under all that annoyance. This made Lapis stop and think; why did she save this stupid human? It's not like she cared if the sailor lived or died, so why did she waste her time and energy? Lapis shrugged. Realizing she wasn't going to be getting a direct answer, the human pinched the bridge of her nose, which Lapis guessed was a habit.

"Well, it is getting..." Lapis paused, forgetting the word she was supposed to use. "...late. I'm going to go now, so...bye," Lapis twisted around, careful not to hit anything with her tail. She was about to jump into the water and leave when she felt a cold hand grab her arm.

"W-WAiiitttt!!!! Don't leave me here!" Lapis felt her fins stand up briskly at the unexpected contact, and she whipped around to glare at the ex-pirate. "I-I'll die out here without food or fresh water! Can you bring me back to land, or at least signal a ship to come rescue me!?" The sheer panic in the girl's voice made Lapis chuckle coldly.

"That is not my problem, swim yourself back to land."

"I can't do that!! I'd freeze to death, or be eaten, or--!"

"And what do you want me to do about that? I already saved you once, find a way to save yourself." Before Lapis heard another word the girl had to say, she leaped into the water, carrying the sailor's only hope of salvation with her.

 

It was almost daylight by the time Lapis was on her return trip, with a full stomach and three flailing fish in her hands (she hated going out, so why not bring some extra food for storage?). She was exhausted from chasing those fish around all night; they never stopped moving! What she would give for a net.... Lapis was nearing the place she had left the human the night before. She felt the curiosity well up inside of her, and it got increasingly harder and harder to ignore. Was the human alive? Was she dead? If she was dead, maybe Lapis could feed her carcass to some sharks or something.

Finally giving in to the urge to check, she turned around and dashed to the surface. The mermaid looked around for that rock formation and spotted a dot of green on it. Swimming closer, she noticed the green dot was, in fact, the girl's jacket from yesterday; although, Lapis couldn't tell if the girl was alive in it or not. As she got closer, she realized there was, in fact, the rise and fall of her breathing chest. Her eyes were closed, so she must be sleeping.

She stopped swimming right at the formation's edge and studied the human. Lapis felt surprised, even a little impressed, that the human had survived the cold night. How did she do it? Lapis looked over and noticed a burnt log, which explained her question. How did she get a log, though? How did she start a fire with only a log? Suddenly, Lapis remembered one of the things the girl had said in her plea to the captain. _"’I'm the only tech expert!’_ " Wasn't tech short for something? Didn't "tech" that mean the girl could make stuff out of other stuff? An idea hit Lapis smack in the face. Lapis smirked devilishly, how had this not occurred to her sooner? _Maybe this human can be of use to me after all_ , she thought. Lapis was so absorbed in her new plan she didn't even notice the three fish had escaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update the fic every sunday/monday, i'm still working on the exact date.  
> Thank you for reading this fanfic, I hope you have an amazing day!
> 
> Chapter 2 - "In Which Lapis Kidnaps a Gay Pirate". Peridot is thankful she's off that rock cluster and going somewhere else, but where's "somewhere else"?
> 
> Quick edit - I said "Tavern" instead of "Cavern" for no reason at all, so I just went in and fixed that


	2. Lapis Kidnaps a Gay Pirate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is thankful she's off that stupid rock formation and going somewhere else, but where's "somewhere else"?

The first thing Peridot noticed when she woke up was how cold she was. It wasn’t the regular “oh my fucking god Pearl close your window” cold, it was like she had been trapped in the heart of a glacier for three hundred years. Peridot would be lying if she said that she had any will at all to open her eyes at that moment. She was just about to accept her seemingly inevitable fate of freezing to death when Peridot felt a flick on her nose. Her eyes flew open, and she immediately noticed a blue figure staring down at her.

“Congratulations on surviving the night,” The figure said, and Peridot bolted upright.

“Wha!? What!? Where- Who’re—oh, it’s you,” Peridot groaned. “Wh-what do you want? To rub your freedom in my face while I die out here?”

“Of course not, I came here to make a deal with you.” This was new. Weren’t Mermaids dense airheads who frolicked in their underwater daisies and lived off seaweed? Then again, this mermaid was more of an asshole than the ditsy type; not to mention how _blue_ she was. This one seemed more of the type who snacked on sharks than one that fooled around 24/7. Peridot wasn’t sure if she shivered because of the cold or the way that mermaid was smirking at her.

“wh-what is it,” Peridot stammered, crossing her arms and attempting to look more composed and “in control” than she really was.

“Oh, it is nothing much,” Lapis said, “in fact, this deal works in more of your favor than mine. Is it true you can make items out of other items? You are good with the ‘tech’?”

Peridot was confused for a second; why was the mermaid asking such a strange question? “Um, yeah- yeah, I was the Technician expert back on S.S Jade and S.S HomeWorld.”

“Can you make items like…” The mermaid seemed to think about something for a second. “Like those fish-catching mechanisms?”

“Like nets and ‘rods? Yeah, I can make that shit.” Peridot had an idea of where this conversation was going, and felt hope rise in her chest.

“Here is where my offer comes in. In exchange for your service in making items, I will get you off these rocks and to safety. Deal- “

“DEAL! Deal – I mean, um, deal.” Peridot tried to conceal her excitement. “Thank you…Ms. Mermaid?”

“Lapis Lazuli. My name is Lapis Lazuli, but you can call me Lapis,” the mermaid said, her smirk morphing into a slightly-authentic smile. Lapis, like the blue gem. Such a pretty name for a pretty- No! No, Peridot didn’t think Lapis was pretty, no way. She was _annoying_ , that’s what she was.  
              “M-my name’s Peridot,” she stuttered, unable to think of a better response.

“Alright Peridot, here is how this is going to work,” Lapis started, hopping onto the rocks right next to the pirate. “First, how often do you need oxygen?” Peridot scoffed as if it was a simple question, but took a few seconds to think of a logical answer.

“Ummm… sometime around every thirty seconds? We aren’t going to be underwater for a long time though, right?” Peridot suddenly remembered how hard it was to swim with her metal prosthetic. She glanced at the leg, trying for the millionth time to make a real limb grow back with her will alone. It didn’t work.

  “Alright, you will have air transferred to you every thirty seconds. We will-“

“wait wait wait, what do you mean by…’transfer’?” Peridot’s poor gay heart did a double-take as Lapis smirked devilishly.

“Why, lip-to-lip transfer of air, of course. I can store a lot of oxygen in my lungs, and the trip is only going to take…” She paused, and Peridot really hoped she wasn’t paying attention to the flaring blush that lit up on the hopeless lesbian’s cheeks. Peridot suddenly didn’t feel as cold. “…about 15 to 30 minutes long.”

Peridot was going to be kissed by a ~~hot~~ annoying mermaid she didn’t even know 30 to 60 times in a desperate attempt to breathe under the ocean. Great. “How much swimming will I- “

“Do not worry about that, I will be holding you while we swim. I cannot have you dying from the cold, can I? We can share body heat.” If Peridot didn’t die from the freezing cold conditions of the sea, she was going to die from her 147% lesbian heart having a seizure.

“I would recommend you get comfortable.” Lapis flipped over onto her back and held her arms open. “Lay down on top of me, facing me.”

 _Why is this happening to me_ , Peridot thought, her blush only increasing as she forced her body to crawl over to the mermaid and lay on top of her stomach. Her face scrunched up in discomfort when she couldn’t find a clean and un-suggestive way to lay her legs against Lapis’ tail, so she was forced to settle for wrapping her legs around it. Lapis’ tail twitched and Peridot squeaked in surprise, squirming around a little bit. Lapis laughed at her, wrapping her arms around Peridot’s back and drawing her closer, grinning manically. She knew what she was doing to Peridot, and she seemed to be enjoying it. _Great, she’s a huge dick, too._

“You really are a woman,” Lapis teased, and Peridot was about to respond when Lapis suddenly got…really warm. It was like she was a living heater, radiating warmth from her scales and skin; Peridot wasted no time clinging to her. She noticed Lapis’ stripes had turned a deep blue, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She could physically feel the icy layer that had coated her skin melt away. Peridot would have to ask how Lapis was doing this later, but for now she was just thankful. “Take a deep breath and hold on tight,” Lapis said.

“…wait what,” Peridot looked up, and suddenly they were diving headfirst into the water. Peridot sucked in as much air as she could in those milliseconds and felt the rush of cold water hit her. Peridot squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to scream; they were _flying_! Were all mermaids able to swim 40 miles per hour!? Peridot couldn’t even concentrate on the numbers, all her thoughts were on the many, _many_ ways Lapis could potentially kill her right now. She felt the carbon dioxide building up in the back of her throat, and she had to open her mouth to let some out. Immediately, Lapis brought her lips to Peridot, and the pirate almost pulled back from the spark that she felt with the connection. There it was again; this had happened before, when Peridot had impulsively kissed Lapis last night. She felt another blush creeping up on her cheeks as she opened her mouth slightly, inhaling as much oxygen as her lungs could carry.

This process repeated for quite a bit, and Peridot’s thirst for oxygen slowly turned the kisses from an embarrassed gentle inhale to a starved, desperate battle for air. Peridot needed some O2 badly, and having her lungs feel like they would burst in any second didn’t help. After a particularly long time (and a particularly long kiss), Peridot felt one of Lapis’ arms let go of her torso. She immediately started panicking; what if she fell off!? God knows how deep they were right then, and Peridot couldn’t swim at all with that stupid metal leg. She felt a flick against her nose, causing her eyes to fly open upon instinct. The stinging from the salt was irritating beyond belief, and Peridot was about to squeeze her eyes shut again when she noticed that Lapis’ lips were moving. Was the mermaid…speaking in the water? Peridot could hardly believe her ears when Lapis said something in a strange language, but it wasn’t all bubbly and weird sounding. It probably would have been coherent if Peridot knew what she was saying. The mermaid seemed to notice Peridot’s confusion, and she attempted to signal something. Peridot squinted and tried to focus on the directions Lapis was pointing; left, left, right, up, right, and down. Peridot had absolutely no clue what this meant, but before she could decipher it Lapis kissed her again. Greedily sucking up as much air as she could, Peridot didn’t even notice the tunnel they were about to enter. Peridot gripped onto Lapis tighter when she suddenly went faster, speeding toward the entrance. Peridot tried to pull away and scream, but Lapis used her free arm to hold Peridot’s head down against her lips. It all happened in a flash; Lapis swam with insane speed through pitch black tunnels, bucking Peridot up and down and left and left and right. Peridot latched onto Lapis’ skin tightly, screaming onto her lips and losing about half the oxygen she was trying to suck up at the same time. Peridot wasn’t sure how long they swam like that – it felt like hours, but was only probably one or two minutes.

Peridot wanted to cry tears of joy when they hit air. Lapis swam over to the rocky “shore”, and Peridot practically flew off her and started kissing the ground. It took her a whole five minutes to stop and look around at her surroundings – she seemed to be in a cavern of some sort, which connected to the sea and…not a shoreline. Where was the sand, the beach, the screaming kids, and the bustling village?

“where are we?” Peridot asked, her breathing uneven from the 30 minutes with secondhand oxygen.

“This is my ‘house’ as you humans call it,” Lapis explained, resting her forearms against the edge and shining that signature smirk.

“Is it…connected to land?”

“No.”

Peridot felt her blood run cold. “What do you mean ‘No’!? It has to be connected to land, that was part of the deal! You were going to get me to Beachtown!”

              “This is part of the deal; I said I would take you to safety, and I did,” Lapis replied coolly, and Peridot wanted to smack that smirk right off her stupid, cloddy face.

              “Get me to Beachtown this instant or so help me god,” Peridot threatened, sounding as serious and menacing as she could. Lapis simply laughed a cold, empty laugh, staring Peridot dead in the eye with a look that could freeze a sea serpent in terror.

              “If you really were the leading ‘Tech’ master, you cannot be this stupid. I am the only one who can get you in and out of this cave; it would be suicide to even attempt to harm me. Not even to mention you would lose horribly in a battle against me, speaking of how you cannot swim.”

              “I—“  
              “I saw how you sank yesterday, do not even try to argue. You are completely at my mercy, so you should get used to living here as soon as possible,” Lapis smiled a heartless smile, and Peridot started to really regret her life choices. Why oh why hadn’t she listened to that stupid mother of hers and just gotten a part-time job at some local shop? Why couldn’t she have just accepted the stupid tradition of arranged marriage, pretending to love her “husband” and having a harmless love affair with a woman behind his back? She just _had_ to run away from home and become a pirate; to live on the wild side and stick herself in this horrible situation she couldn’t get herself out of. Peridot wished she could turn back the clock and redo her entire life. However, as she learned with her leg, time doesn’t turn itself back from the power of will alone.

              Peridot couldn’t handle this right now. She wanted to get away; away to the surface, or her little room on the S.S Jasper, or to her home back on land – or most of all, as far away from this mermaid as possible. Peridot turned around and ran toward the back of the cavern as she could.

              “…What are you doing!? Get back here, or you will regret it!” Peridot ignored her and slumped down in a corner, her soggy clothes clinging to her skin uncomfortably. Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose, Lapis’ yells slowly loosing meaning and turning into a simple background noise. The only thing Peridot’s mind could focus on was her ragged breathing and a peculiar glowing mushroom. Peridot felt the need to memorize everything about it; the light blue hue, tiny green dots that littered the top, the deep blue shadows that were cast under its umbrella-like top. She noticed how the cave was surprisingly well lit, and when Peridot looked up she realized why. Glowing stalactite completely covered the cavern ceiling, their teal hue illuminating the entire cave. Peridot gasped; how had she not noticed those the second she came in? It was strange, to say the least; very, very beautiful, but a bit scary, since their sharp points dangled menacingly over her head, just waiting to fall. _I’ll probably get used this soon enough,_ Peridot thought, feeling the dread of her situation sinking in. She was probably going to be stuck here for the rest of her life, working for this teasing, ~~really pretty~~ heartless mermaid who could probably kill her with little to no effort.

 Peridot thought she was absolutely doomed; she would be in endless suffering, making fishing nets for this asshole mermaid for the rest of her life. She’ll be stuck here, never to see daylight again, forced to live off an all-mushroom diet and finding _some_ way to get fresh water. She’ll never find happiness, or find out what happens to Paulette in that stupid book Camp Pining Hearts, or meet her true love. She would outgrow all her clothes and be forced to live naked, sleeping on rocks and getting sick all the time and, oh, how many ways she could die…! Peridot didn’t realize she was crying until she felt the hot tears drip off her chin. Her life was over; completely and utterly over.

              Little did Peridot know, she couldn’t be more wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this chapter being a bit unrealistic (Peridot should have died multiple times this chapter). Not all chapters will be like this; mainly they'll just be two idiots too dense to see the others' feelings who face real problems with their living situation. Such as; food, water, clothing, access to the outside world, supplies for Peridot to actually be able to make anything.  
> I also seem to be making Lapis extremely powerful and without weakness, but don't worry about that :,) she has a lot of quirks and issues I haven't even mentioned yet
> 
> Thank you for reading, have a super-awesome day!!  
> Chapter three - Lapis Cares for a Gay Pirate. She really didn't think that humans were this difficult to handle.


	3. Lapis Feeds(?) A Gay Pirate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis usually wasn't one to share, but Peridot was apparently an exception.

 Lapis was a stress-eater and there was absolutely no way to deny it. She hardly even noticed swimming out of the cave in her fit of rage, and seemed to only be aware of her surroundings when she was on her way back to the cavern, six dead fish in her hands. She had already taken an aggressive bite out of one’s head, the blood tainting the clear water around it. By the time Lapis had gotten back to the cave, she had only three fish, two fish skeletons, and one barely-recognizable amalgamation of a crushed fish. Yeah, Lapis was pretty stressed right now.

Peridot was still curled up in the corner, hiding her face in her hands. She had been that way for almost days straight, and it was really getting on Lapis’ nerves. The human completely ignored everything and anything Lapis said, only getting up to check on some containers she built to “Un-salt-ify” the water contained in them, drinking the contents when they had been "cleansed". She would continuously fill it up when Lapis left the cave, which seemed like the only time she ever moved. Lapis had ordered her dozens of times to make that damn net she’s been dying for, but that pirate didn’t even acknowledge her.

_Humans,_ Lapis thought sarcastically, hopping onto the shore and throwing the amalgamation into the sea below her. She was about to take another angry bite into one of the intact fishes when she heard a low grumbling sound. She stopped, mouth hanging open mid-bite, and looked for the source of the sound. Lapis realized the sound was coming from Peridot’s stomach. Peridot seemed to shift uncomfortably, and Lapis – with those stupid mermaid genes – physically couldn’t **not** laugh a little. She couldn’t help it – it was in her species’ nature was to laugh when they found something funny, no matter how terrible their mood. However, it was in Lapis’ nature to be a huge dick. Without thinking about it, the mermaid took a big, long bite out of the fish, drawing out every single little detail to make it seem extravagant.

“Oh how great*, I can hardly believe…how good this fish tastes,” Lapis said over-dramatically. “The juiciness…and the flavor that makes your tongue feel alive, oh how good-tasting!” Lapis swallowed extra loudly and repeated the process, continuing to make obnoxious chewing noises and very obviously taunting the poor girl. Lapis looked over and just now registered that Peridot was starving over there. The human probably didn’t have anything to eat the past couple days, spare a mushroom or two. Lapis stopped mid-chew, suddenly realizing; it’s been a couple days since Peridot's eaten anything significant. Assuming Peridot had somewhat of a similar eating schedule as Lapis, it’s been…at least three or four days since she had anything. Don’t get Lapis wrong, she wasn’t a good mermaid at all – but she did have a little bit of a heart in her. She wasn’t here to kill Peridot, she was here to have the human work for her. Humans can't work well if they're dead.

Lapis looked over at one of the fresh fish in her hands and reluctantly chucked it toward the human’s crying corner. Peridot looked up in surprise as the wet fish landed directly by her feet. Lapis pretended it didn't mean anything to her, turning away and eating the rest of the fish in her hand. Lapis glanced out of the corner of her eyes as Peridot finally moved, carefully reaching out and grabbing the wet sea creature. Peridot inspected the fish, almost like she was judging it. Lapis watched with curiosity as Peridot stood up and moved around, looking for something. What was she looking for? Apparently she couldn’t find it, since after about a minute she groaned in frustration and plopped down on the rocky floor (which was proceeded by a squeak of pain; this was oddly adorable to Lapis).

“I should’ve expected that much…” Peridot muttered, looking defeated. Lapis should have stayed angry, she really should have. In fact, she wanted to stay angry; why should she let this human off the hook so easily!? But, no matter how hard she tried, the anger just…washed away. How could she stay angry at such a cute, pathetic creature such as Peridot?

“Expected what?” Lapis’ voice seemed to break Peridot out of her thoughts.

“Why would you even care? It’s not like it matters to you at all or anythin’,” Peridot said, her voice cracking. She wasn’t wrong, per say, Lapis didn’t think she cared. However, the mermaid felt like she needed to know what Peridot wanted – she had a thirst for knowing everything about her new human. She needed to know how Peridot worked, and how to properly take care of her. Lapis was heartless, but certainly didn’t want to kill the creature who now…completely depended on Lapis for every and anything she wanted. The realization hit Lapis like a brick to the face; she had to take care of this human! She had no clue how humans worked – what did they need for survival? How much work was this going to be for a few puny items!? _But then again, imagine all those fish I could catch with that net_ , Lapis reasoned. _It couldn’t be that hard, right?_

“Tell me,” Lapis demanded, trying to shake the thought out of her head. Peridot would just have to figure it out; she seemed kinda smart, couldn’t she just supply herself with the materials? Plus, Lapis could always search for the few she might need outside of what’s in the cave.

Peridot knew not to disobey a direct order, at least. “Ugggh…you don’t have any firewood, or grass, or literally anything capable of being lit on fire.” Lapis was so confused; why did she need fire?

“If you are cold, you will have to-“

“That’s not why I need a fire, you clod. I need to cook the fish you gave me. So I can eat it,” Peridot interrupted, and Lapis almost did a double take. Why would Peridot need wood to set a fish on fire? What is “cook”? Why would she waste food!?

“Why would you set fire to a fish? What…would you even do with a burnt fish," Lapis asked, and it was Peridot's turn to be surprised.

"I don't burn my fish, I cook it!" Lapis was about to ask what a 'cook' was, but Peridot continued. "I would never burn my fish, my cooked fish always taste the best! Better than any other fish anyone has ever tasted."

"...How much better does it taste," Lapis caught herself asking; what could taste better than cold, raw fish?

"A million times better," Peridot responded, and Lapis couldn't help but be curious.

"Well...I will get you your 'fire' 'wood', but I have to be able to try a little of this 'cook' fish you speak of." Peridot nodded frantically, and Lapis smiled a little. It was like seeing an excited baby dolphin, she just couldn't help thinking it was absolutely adorable! "I will be back," Lapis said, and she immediately dove under the water. 

Lapis came back with a couple of soggy sticks and a decaying log. Peridot had moved, and seemed to be inspecting one of those glowy mushrooms. Lapis swam over to the shore, placing the wood on the edge. “I have retrieved the wood you need for the 'cook' fish,” Peridot jolted up, surprised by Lapis’ arrival.

“Thanks Lapis. Also, it's 'the wood you need for "cooking" "A" fish', not '"cook" fish',” Peridot corrected. She carefully walked over, not completely trusting Lapis, but still retrieving the wood.

She watched as Peridot picked up a couple rocks and stones off the ground, organizing them into a circle. Peridot did a couple things to the wood with a sharp blue rocks (was she…cutting notches into it?), and Lapis lost interest right there. She decided to splay herself out against the rocks instead, her back on the floor facing up. She passed the boring time by counting the amount of Stalactite on the ceiling. She was somewhere in the two hundreds when she heard the sound of something…cracking? Lapis tried as hard as she could to see the scene through the corner of her eyes, but eventually gave up and forced her body to roll over. She saw Peridot had created some sort of completely contained fire, and had poked a stick through the fish. The fish wasn’t directly in the fire, per say, it was just really close to it.

“What are you doing?” Lapis asked, and this time only gave Peridot a good flinch.

“You sure do like speaking out in the silence, don’t you,” Peridot muttered, but then answered Lapis’ question. “I’m cooking the fish.”

“...how is it not burning? Does the 'cooking' have magical powers or something?” Peridot chuckled, and Lapis felt a little agitated. What was funny about that, she was being serious!

“You don’t know how cookin' works? Wow, I-- Nevermind, it makes sense. You do live in an ocean, what does fire do ‘ya? Cooking is where you make the fish edible- er, warm, I guess, and it tastes better.” Peridot examined the fish, like she was waiting for something.

“Why do you want to eat warm food? That sounds disgusting,” Lapis pointed out. Warm carcasses were not only bad for you, but tasted awful! It meant they’d been sitting in the sun for days!

“This is different,” Peridot said, taking the fish off the fire. She took a bite out of the side of it, all fancy and cleanly. Her entire figure seemed to brighten as she got food inside of her stomach; she sat up straighter, and her face melted into a doofus grin. Lapis felt jealousy well up inside her; she’d never seen someone so happy to eat something. The smell of the cooked flesh hit her nose, sending her spiraling into all kinds of hunger.

"Where is my bit you promised me, hmm?" Peridot groaned and ripped off a piece, reaching over and handing Lapis a little.

"Here, but be careful. It might still be ho-"

Lapis wasted no time in snatching the fish bit out of Peridot’s hand, shoving it in her face and absorbing the taste. It was like a thousand flavor-bombs went out in her mouth at once. The juiciness that perfectly mixed with the chewiness; was this what heaven tasted like? Lapis had stars in her eyes.

“…Lapis? A-Are you okay?”

“I want more,” Lapis muttered in a dazed stance. She looked up at Peridot with expecting eyes. “Make me more right now.” Peridot looked down at the mermaid and smiled a little.

“Only if you get more firewood. And more fish, of course." Lapis smirked, licking her lips at the mere thought of more of that deliciousness. Peridot's cheeks turned red again; Lapis would have to ask her about what that meant later. For now, however, her mind was set on those...delicious...'cooked' fish. _Maybe this human really does have a few perks_ , Lapis thought to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Oh how great – Lapis isn’t a native speaker of English; she was brought up speaking a “mermaid language” called Piscisian. That’s why she might have weird sayings, like “oh how great” instead of “Oh my god”, since that’s how she would translate her exclamations.
> 
> I had my mind completely set on writing an angst chapter, but then my hand slipped. I guess i'll have to save all that angst up for later ;).  
> For the next few chapters, I'll just work on strengthening the relationship between Lapis and Peridot. Don't worry, the plot will come in soon! Thank you for reading, have an absolutely amazing day!


	4. Lapis literally Burns a Gay Pirate

   Peridot hated to acknowledge it, but she was really warming up to that devil mermaid. Maybe it was the fact that Lapis was – admittedly – relatively nice to Peridot, or, at least as nice as a dickhead mermaid could be. The amount of death threats and cold glares thrown at the pirate seemed to decrease by the day, and she could hardly take Lapis seriously when she was shoving her face full of fish. However, according to Peridot, they were in no way in trusting terms of each other. She was just tolerant of the mermaid, that’s what it was. No way did she enjoy Lapis’ company. Yeah.

   Lapis herself was out for the moment, hunting some fish or something, and Peridot had the cave to herself. The human was kicking around a couple random stones with her foot, bored and with nothing to pass the time with. She had checked the water filters and drunken her one canister of water for the day, finished the net Lapis had asked her to craft (that mermaid had better freaking love it when she lays eyes on it; she had been pestering Peridot for almost the entire time she had lived here for it), and even prepared everything for the fire. She had nothing to do, and the boredom was really getting to her. “When was the last time I was bored like this?” Peridot thought aloud, kicking another seemingly small rock. That “tiny rock” was more like “a large rock mostly buried under the ground”, and Peridot only figured this out when she sent her good foot crashing against it at full force. “owOWOWOW!! Goddamn…real feet..!” She grabbed her foot and started bouncing around on her metal leg in pain…which didn’t last long, since she toppled over within seconds. “SHIT!!” Peridot fell on her butt, sending a shockwave of pain up her spine and throughout her body. _Great, now I guess I’ll just get a prosthetic butt_ , too, she thought sarcastically as she tried to stand up.

   A howl of laughter came from the water’s edge, and Peridot looked up to see Lapis doubling over. She had no clue when she got there, but she knew that Lapis had to have seen most of that. Peridot wasn’t sure if mermaids could cry, but she was positive that Lapis was wiping something from her eye by the time she finally recovered from her fit of snort-filled laughter.

   “I-It wasn’t that funny…” Peridot muttered, a dark blush spreading across her cheeks.

   “Y-You could not see yourself! That was just beautiful…!!” Lapis started laughing again, and Peridot felt the need to hide under a rock.

   “Just drop it…h-hey, how many fish did you catch?” Peridot tried to desperately change the subject; it worked. Lapis stopped laughing and proudly placed four dead fish on the cavern floor, wordlessly answering the question. Peridot crawled over and grabbed them by their tails, still shivering when touching those strange, slimy scales, and brought them to the fire. After lighting it, she gutted and scaled the fish (and gave the scraps to Lapis, who had a weird taste for them), jabbed them each on their own sharpened stick, placed them directly on top of her makeshift grate, and waited. She got bored very, _very_ quickly, but made sure her gaze was locked onto her dinner. She couldn’t burn these fish, since Lapis would throw a huge, childish hissy fit, and Peridot would have to go hungry for the day. She knows this from experience.

   “Are you finished yet?” Lapis groaned; she was apparently as bored as Peridot.

   “Give ‘em a few more minutes,” Peridot reasoned, trying not to get annoyed at the being who could kill her if she felt like it. She suppressed a shiver, trying not to think of the many ways she could be murdered…quite easily. For a split second, she felt pure dread seep through her entire being, and all her senses screamed to look behind her. She glanced back wearily, expecting the mermaid to be poised and ready to strike her, but only saw Lapis picking her teeth and muttering something along the lines of, ‘would “cook” intestines still taste good?’. She seemed to notice Peridot’s staring and met her gaze, her blue eyes full of confusion and curiosity.

   “What?”

   “N-Nothing,” Peridot replied hastily, whipping her head around and staring at the fish intently. A long time passed by in silence, spare the grunts and huffs of an impatient mermaid.

   “Are you done now?”

   “…no.”

   “What about now? Are you done now?”

   “No Lapis, I’m not.”

   “Now?”

   “No, Lapis.”

   “………now?”

   “NO.”

   “Okay, okay. There is no need to yell,” Lapis said, probably smirking, and Peridot could feel her eye twitching. “Okay, last time but…now?”

   “I’LL TELL YOU WHEN IT’S READY,” Peridot shouted, wishing she had enough strength or courage to strangle her right then. She glanced at the fishes momentarily before jabbing a stick into one of them, pulling a bit of meat out and checking it. “…it’s ready.” Lapis let out a cheer and hopped onto the shore, managing to bounce/crawl her way over to the fire. She ripped one of the Fish Sticks off the grate, shoving the tail into her mouth without a second hesitation. Peridot sighed, picking hers up carefully and waiting for it to cool. Lapis looked over at her, eyes wide and mouth full of fish.

   “You going to eat that?” Lapis asked, practically inhaling the rest of her fish and reaching over to steal Peridot’s. She swatted Lapis’ hand away and held the food to her chest protectively.

   “Yes!... yes, as a matter of fact, I am. I’m just waiting for it to cool, so it’ll be more enjoyable,” Peridot said matter-of-factly, taking one tiny bite out of the side. Lapis looked confused, but didn’t press the subject. As Lapis dug into the rest of the fish, Peridot couldn’t help but find her somewhat beautiful. Her blue features were illuminated by the fire’s light, and her face looked so happy. A bit scary when she bit off the fish’s head with a look of malice in her eye, but still happy. She didn’t seem to worry about anything at all; it was as if she didn’t care in the world. Peridot didn’t notice she was staring. Lapis turned toward her, opening her mouth and about to say something; Peridot should have looked away immediately, but was too captivated by her bright, beautiful cerulean eyes to shift her gaze anywhere else.

   “Enjoying the view?” Lapis teased, and Peridot felt like the cave temperature increased by at least 20 degrees.

   “Wh-what!? No, I mean- No, but, you know, I- Um, is the fire too hot or is it just me?” Peridot stammered, and Lapis snort-laughed again.

   “I do not know, but it is probably me who is too hot,” Lapis joked, placing her fish down and grabbing the unsuspecting Peridot, forcing their bodies together. Peridot blushed insanely as she felt a warmth grow inside of her…and outside. It wasn’t just her gay hormones acting up this time, her skin was legitimately heating up. Scratch that, Peridot now felt like she had been set on fire.

   “HothotHOTT!!” Peridot pulled away, immediately checking herself to see if her clothes (or skin) were on fire. Lapis laughed so hard she fell, pounding the ground with her fist in the fit of hysterics. Peridot wasn’t paying attention to that, however, since she was busy scrambling over to the shoreline and shoving her arms in the cool, salty liquid called water. It was freezing cold, thank goodness, and immediately cooled her scorching hot skin. She pulled her limbs out of the water and rubbed them all over her upper body, concerned when a light layer of steam rose off her stomach immediately upon contact.

   Once Peridot finished cooling off, she shot a glare at the mermaid, who had stopped laughing a minute or two ago and was currently fixated on the flames that Peridot had yet to put out. “What the hell was that for?”

   “It was very funny at the time,” Lapis responded absentmindedly. Peridot groaned and crawled back to the fire, careful of her prosthetic this time. Scraping it on a rock and breaking her trusty fake leg was the last thing she needed right now, since Peridot didn’t have any of the materials needed to fix a completely broken prosthetic.

   “You’re an asshole, has anyone ever told you that?” Peridot grumbled, doing her best to cross her legs and get in a comfortable position. Lapis eyed her, smirking and giggling at Peridot’s struggle. Peridot glared at her, mildly offended. “Hey, you try crossing your legs like this!”

   “I do not have legs,” Lapis dead-panned, losing interest and staring into the fire once more. Peridot eventually succeeded in crossing her legs, only to find it uncomfortable. She sighed and kept her legs that way anyways; it would be too much effort to take her legs out of that pose, and she supposed it wasn’t the worst position in the world. They sat in silence for a while, admiring the fire. When the flames slowly died out, leaving only a flicker in their wake, Lapis finally spoke. “I am going to sleep, bye,” she said, starting to bounce over to the edge.

   "Bye." Peridot watched as Lapis dove into the water, trying to shake off the feeling of loneliness she often got when Lapis left. Lapis didn’t cause this feeling, per say - at least, Peridot wouldn’t allow herself to think Lapis was a part of it -…it’s just that her absence reminded Peridot of how alone in this she was. With Lapis, she would forget how she was cut off from both the sea and land, how she missed her friends who she had long left behind…and how nobody would know or care that she was gone. Peridot shook her head, quickly checking the water filters, and trudging over to her makeshift bed – or more accurately, her sleeping spot. It was more a pile of conveniently shaped rocks than anything bed-like, but it was better than the bare ground. Peridot crawled on top, trying to ignore her thoughts and focus on carefully removing her prosthetic. After placing it on the ground next to her, she laid down and closed her eyes. However, as soon as her eyelids shut, all the thoughts of her old life flooded back; the ship, her sister, her crewmates – especially the S.S Jasper. It hurt to think about them the most, and how well they must be doing without her in their way. Her eyes opened once again, and in a desperate attempt to distract herself, started humming a calming tune.

   She didn’t remember where it came from, or when she learnt it, but it felt as if she had known it her whole life. It wasn’t a pretty tune, especially with Peridot’s gravelly voice, but it was comforting. It wasn’t linked to any memories at all, and it did wonders to distract her from reality. She could lose herself in that simple melody, as if the only thing in this universe was her and those notes. After a couple minutes, or maybe a couple hours, Peridot’s eyelids grew heavy, and she was finally able to shut her eyes. The tune slowly died mid-sequence, her memories completely forgotten for the moment. She smiled, her last thoughts before sleep reminding her to show Lapis that net tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I’m sorry for another filler chapter! I promise I’ll make a more interesting chapter for the next update – and it won’t just be about Peridot. I feel like it’s time to explain why Lapis is the “Fairest and Most Feared” mermaid of the western sea.  
> Thank you for reading my fanfiction! I hope you have a great day!
> 
> Also, I have a tumblr! Check it out if you want :)  
> http://www.GhostRule23.tumblr.com


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